“This is the plan: Richie and Eddie's big Hallowe'en party. Plenty of booze and jugged-up babes. Shaggy, shaggy, shag. That's it. What do you think?” “Legendary! Awesome! Fiendish!” “All right, go easy on the praise- I don't want to rip me tights. Right, there’s only one snag- zero cash, hence the great outfits. This is the plan- you go out…
…you go to the first door, you ring the bell; they answer, you say “Trick or treat?”" “I thought I was mute.” “All right- on this occasion, you can be a talking Hallowe'en banana.” “Okey-dokey! What do I say?” “You say "Trick or treat? Just cash. No sweets. If they give us any trouble, I blast them with the electric cattle prod.” Classic stuff. Happy Hallowe’en everyone 🎃
A 6th round, 199th overall draft pick with a record 251 quarterback wins; a record 89,214 passing yards; a record 7753 passing completions; a record 649 passing touchdowns; a record 46 4th quarter comebacks; a record 58 game-winning drives; a 97.2 passer rating; 19 divisional titles; 5 times Super Bowl MVP; and [*checks notes] a record 7 [SEVEN] time Super Bowl winner- Tom Brady is THE undisputed NFL GOAT 🐐 …and now, somewhat surreally, the legend himself has…
…become a minority owner and Chairman of the new Advisory Board at Birmingham City Football Club. Being the first to admit that he doesn’t know an awful lot about the sport, TB12 has made a personal vow to make “Birmingham City Soccer Club “The Greatest Show on Turf”- the winningest franchise not just in the Central Division, but in the whole National Soccer League”. So he’s got a lot to learn, but who knows- in time Big Tom could one day become the second most influential Brady in Blues history 💍💍💍💍💍💍💍 🇺🇸⚽️🏈
I know it’s not the most evocative of subject matter- and it’s certainly not an issue I’ll be losing any sleep over- but I do think that it’s a ruddy shame that Wilko is no more, with the closure of 400 stores and the loss of jobs for the majority of its 12,000 employees. I’m sure that dividends of £3 million paid to the family owners in 2017 and again in 2022…
…when the company is posting losses, didn’t exactly help 🤑 All that remains now is for the B&M, Home Bargains, Poundland, and The Range vultures to feast on the remains of the Wilko carcass- with them all having bought a number of Wilko stores, and The Range also acquiring the Wilko brand, website and intellectual property 🦅
Poor Little Miss Gendered- everywhere she goes, she’s always being… well… misgendered! Like the time Little Miss Gendered went to try on new brassieres in her favourite clothes shop’s unisex fitting room, the other girls were really mean told her that they’re not comfortable with her being in there. Or the time that Little Miss Gendered visited the ‘little girls room’ and she could hear the other girls sniggering, as they powdered their little girly noses, at the thunderous sound- not to mention the sheer duration- of her doing a tinkle. Or the time the pharmacy sales assistant had a most puzzled look on her face as she scanned all of the feminine hygiene products that Little Miss Gendered was stocking up on. Or the time at the beauty salon, when Little Miss Gendered was charged more than the other girls for a Brazilian wax, because her ‘short and curlies’ seemed to continue all the way down to her ankles. To make matters worse, after Little Miss Gendered hospitalised several competitors, even the girls at the…
…Little Miss Mixed Martial Arts Academy (LMMMAA) refused to fight her anymore, saying that she was as strong as Mr Strong with a physique to match. Just as Little Miss Gendered was becoming even more hopelessly confused about her identity, something magical happened. Over in neighbouring Wokeland- an enchanted place where nobody was ever misgendered, deadnamed, or treated differently just for their choice of gender- Little Miss Gendered entered her first ever Little Miss Beauty Pageant, and you’ll never guess what? She beat all the other girls and won first prize! Little Miss Gendered was awarded a Little Miss Wokeland sash, a jewel encrusted tiara, a bouquet of flowers, and- courtesy of Wokeland Butcherdashery, sponsors of the pageant- her very own pair of beef curtains! Most importantly though, Little Miss Gendered won the greatest prize of all- the validation and acceptance of being an authentic Little Miss, everything she’d always wanted 🥹
King Charles III is a man of honour, dignity, grace, integrity, humility, compassion, and virtue- and despite his untold wealth and privilege, he is truly a down to earth, humble man of the people 🇬🇧 As each and every one of us chants for and swears allegiance to the king on this day of celebration, let us spare a thought for those special people that Charles has lost over the years; his beloved wife Diana- mother to his only son and heir to the throne Prince Will.I.Am; his own mother- Queen…
…Elizabeth of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha- and father- Prince Philippos Andreou of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderberg-Glücksburg, both of whom worked tirelessly in striving to improve the lives of the citizens of Britain and the Commonwealth of Nations; and, of course, his BFF and confidant- family entertainer and all-round lovable rogue, the irrepressible Sir James Wilson Vincent Savile OBE KCSG🎖️ May the King live forever 👑
Chocolate eggs, fluffy bunnies, the crucifixion and resurrection of (white) Jesus Christ Our Lord and Saviour- these are what Easter’s all about, right? Wrong. Although Christians and religious historians may beg to differ- and at the risk of being labelled an anti-Christian/ anti-Catholic/ anti-religion polemicist- I’m sold on the theory that Easter is yet another modern day Christian holiday that originated as a pagan celebration. Ishtar- purported to be pronounced exactly the same as ‘Easter’- is an ancient Mesopotamian goddess of sexual love, beauty, war, and fertility. Originally worshipped in Sumer (modern day southern Iraq) under the name ‘Inanna’ and later by the Akkadians, Babylonians, and Assyrians as Ishtar- this powerful deity is the first known goddess for which we have written evidence, at least as early as the Uruk period (c. 4000 bce – 3100 bce). Also known as the Queen of Heaven, the protectress of prostitutes, and the patroness of the alehouse…
…Ishtar was revered for thousands of years, eventually giving rise to Astarte, the Hellenistic goddess of war and sexual passion, followed by the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite, and later the Roman goddess of love, Venus. Christianity adopted many pagan rituals of conquered peoples in an effort to help convert them, and under the rule of Roman emperor Constantine I, Easter (Pascha) was changed to represent Jesus, with the Council of Nicaea in 325 decreeing that- just like the celebration of Ishtar before it- Easter should be observed on the first Sunday following the first full moon after the spring equinox 🌕 Ask yourself- what exactly do eggs and bunnies have to do with the resurrection (rebirth) of Christ? They’re merely symbols of sex and fertility- and although I don’t actually think that there’s anything wrong with celebrating such things, I just think it’s nice to be aware what you are celebrating and where it comes from. Happy Ishtar everyone 🪺🐇
…Noel’s House Party, Gladiators, Blind Date, The Generation Game, You Bet, Stars In Their Eyes, et al. Anyway, here’s my prehumous tribute to the host of Catchphrase and ‘Mr. Saturday Night’ himself (one of them, at least), the “legendary” Robert “Roy” Walker 📺
Cobalt is a critical component in the manufacture of rechargeable car batteries and is said to be indispensable for the transition from one fallacy to another- that of so-called “fossil fuels” to more “sustainable” energy sources. The Democratic Republic of the Congo, where more than half of the cobalt resources in the world’s largest known reservoirs are found, provides a substantial amount of the metal that the EU needs to meet its growing demand, driven by the 2030 climate target. There are over 250,000 Congolese mining for cobalt, of which- according to reports by UN agencies- an estimated 40,000 in the Katanga province alone are children as young as six, paid less than $2 per day to work in hazardous conditions with inadequate safety equipment, whilst using their bare hands for digging. As cobalt is also an essential raw material in the production of rechargeable lithium-ion batteries used in electronic devices, several big-tech companies including Apple, Alphabet…
…(Google’s parent company), Dell, and Microsoft- along with Tesla- were cited in a lawsuit over deaths and serious injuries sustained among child workers in cobalt mines in DRC. Despite DRC having some of the world’s most valuable minerals- such as copper, gold, cobalt, and diamonds, as well as the earth's second-largest forest after the Amazon- it remains one of the poorest nations in the world, plagued by poverty, humanitarian crises, environmental abuses and corruption. Furthermore, the quick extraction of cobalt generates incredibly high carbon dioxide and nitrogen dioxide emissions and requires substantial electricity consumption, negatively impacting the environment and biodiversity- in which case those of us that are concerned enough about ‘carbon footprints’ and the effect on the environment of our choice of motor vehicle, really ought to consider both the ethical implications and- ironically- the environmental impact of a decision to ‘go electric’ 🇨🇩⛏️🌍⚡️
Twins Romulus and Remus suckled by a she-wolf and the story of the founding of Rome; ritualistic sacrifice of goats and dogs; young priests (Luperci) running around naked, flogging women with flayed animal hides to render them fertile; men drawing women’s names “from a jar” for ‘coupling’; a violent and sexually charged celebration; the true significance of the association of the colour red [hearts are pink btw,…
…BLOOD is red]; and the origin of the naming of the Roman month of February (mensis Februarius). Before celebrating a “romantically charged” Feast of Saint Valentine- perhaps learn a little about the ancient Roman pagan pastoral festival of the Feast of Lupercalia (13th to 15th February), and the true dark origins of today’s celebration of “love” 💘 Have a blessed Lupercalia everyone 🐺
51 years ago today (30th January 1972), in the Bogside area of Derry, during a civil rights march against the injustice of internment without trial, organised by the Northern Ireland Civil Rights Association (NICRA)- the 1st Battalion, Parachute Regiment (1 PARA) opened fire with their L1A1 SLR semi-automatic rifles on unarmed Irish civilians. 26 people were shot, 14 died (13 at the time, 1 later of injuries sustained). British soldiers and British authorities were cleared of any wrongdoing, and have not been brought to justice to this day, with victims families only receiving a…
…formal apology from David Cameron on behalf of the UK, for what remains the biggest mass shooting in Northern Irish history. This piece is not intended as an overtly political statement but, rather, to commemorate such a dark day in both Irish and British history, and to honour the fourteen people that lost their lives- half of whom were teenagers. Seen here is one of the most iconic images from Bloody Sunday- that of Father Edward Daly waving a blood stained handkerchief as a white flag, in an attempt to escort (mortally wounded) 17 year old Jackie Duddy to safety.
25 years ago today, Lady Diana Spencer was tragically killed. With the car crash in the Pont de l’Alma tunnel in Paris having, by all accounts, proved not quite fatal enough- the clean-up crew were on hand to ensure that Diana’s life was ended. Having already angered ministers when she called for an international ban on land mines just months before her death- Diana is also purported to have…
…been planning to expose those most closely involved in Britain’s role in the deadly arms trade. Like many other highly recognisable and influential persons before (and since) her, by exposing truths and promoting messages of peace, Diana simply HAD to go. Having made the ultimate sacrifice, striving to make the world a better place- Princess Diana is truly a hero of humanity ❤️
On the evening of Boxing Day 1996, best friends David Spencer (13) and Patrick Warren (11) disappeared from near their homes in the Chelmsley Wood area of Solihull. Being the first children to appear on milk cartons in a campaign launched by the National Missing Persons Helpline in April 1997, the boys became known as the Milk Carton Kids. To this day- 25 years on from their disappearance- David’s and Patrick’s families are still seeking closure.
If anybody has any information pertaining to the case, then please contact one of the admins of ‘The milk carton kids’ Facebook group; and I’m sure that any donations would also be welcome, as the boys families have had to fundraise money to cover the cost of hiring equipment and PPE for digging sites- with West Midlands Police having seemingly never really taken a serious interest in investigating the case.
Click here for ‘The milk carton kids’ Facebook group…produced by PespiCo, Nestle, and Kraft/ Cadbury- is as shocking as it is disgusting 🤢
Click here to find out ‘Which Companies Are Using Aborted Human Fetuses in Their Food?’
